by Brandon Reed

What does it mean to be a servant leader?

It’s a great “turn of phrase” we all love to use when we discuss how to lead in our workplaces, in our families, or in our relationships. But what does it truly mean to lead by serving others?

The thought is quite counterintuitive. In fact, the two words themselves seemingly stand in stark contrast to one another.

I’m sure you’re not entirely unfamiliar with the concept of servant leadership. However, I’d like to take a bit of a closer look at it in this week’s article. I want to draw tangible lines between this rather abstract concept, and the very real day-to-day challenges that modern day gentlemen face.

Being a servant leader is a challenging, yet powerful way to guide and help those who have been placed in your path. Let me first put the word “leader” into context for us.

Being a servant leader is a challenging, yet powerful way to guide and help those around you. Share on X

Do not think that being a leader means you must be outgoing, good at public speaking, the life of every party, or any other number of stereotypes we often associate with the word. You do not need to be the loudest one in the room, or the face of your respective organization to influence and impact others.

To lead well, you must carry yourself with humility, and tend first to the needs of those you are leading. If you can learn to do those things, you can learn to lead.

To lead well, you must first humbly tend to the needs of those you are leading. Share on X

Now, let’s look at what it means to serve.

We have all met a situation in our lives where the easier and more convenient thing to do would be to act in our own self interest. Perhaps you don’t need to look any further back than last week to recall such an instance! Maybe it happened just earlier today! These situations are frequent, they vary in importance, but they always propose a familiar but consistently difficult question to answer…”do I care more for the needs of those around me than I do for my own?”.

Granted, things are often much more complicated than that. There are often variables present that don’t allow for an easy answer to that question. However, by in large, you can measure a man’s character by the way in which he answers that very critical question. Gentlemen, we should be living our lives in a way that has us, and everyone who knows us, answering “yes” if asked that question about the posture of our heart.

So what does that look like, really? It sounds good on paper, but how do I put others’ needs before my own when what I need seemingly determines my success, and there are so many that are counting on me to succeed?

Well, brothers, as with so many other things…we must learn to crawl before we walk. And we must master the skill of walking before we run. The more we run, the easier it becomes, and before you know it, running will not labor you anymore. In fact, you will find that with time running with energize you, and sustain you.

It’s an overused metaphor, I know. But it applies here in a very real way. We must learn to serve before we can influence others. We must master the responsibility of influencing others before we can lead. And the more we lead, the easier and more effective our leadership becomes.

Notice that the prerequisite to leading is not heading up a large organization. It is not that you have (x) number of employees reporting to you. It is not that you earn a six figure salary.

No…the prerequisite for leadership is the giving of yourself. It’s service. It’s humility. So often, it is even acting in the background without recognition or praise.

The prerequisite for leadership is the giving of yourself, service, and humility. Share on X

It’s putting others before yourself. It’s helping a friend move on your day off. It’s dog sitting for your cousin who needs a weekend away with her husband…even though you can’t stand her dog. It’s intentionally choosing to be present with your wife when she has a difficult day.

In these moments you have the great privilege of serving your friend, cousin, or your wife. If you can learn to consistently make those choices, you have equipped yourself with an extremely strong set of tools. Tools necessary to be an effective and impactful leader.

I know you have heard much of this message before. I’m sure this is not the first time you’ve read “put others before yourself”. This is not meant to be a revolutionary new worldview. It is meant to simply be a reminder. As a modern day gentleman, you are bombarded with distractions that constantly vie for your attention and efforts. So much of it is shallow at best, and blatantly dishonest at worst.

It’s important that we remember to return to what we KNOW to be true.

We know, without a doubt, that we are to care for the needs of others above our own. And out of that service, rests the very foundation from which we can stand firmly and lead. This has been exampled over and over again by countless good gentlemen who have gone before us. Let us not let that advice go unheard. Let us, instead, learn from their example of servant leadership.

If we are intentional to do that, we will see growth. Even from the “background”. Brothers, believe me, even in the absence of the light of other’s recognition, you will see those actions bear fruit. Even without the water of others’ affirmation and praise, you will reap a bountiful harvest.

So go, gentlemen. Go and serve. Go and give. Go and show the world that leadership looks much more like humility than it does like pride and recognition. The world will take notice. And when they call on you to lead, you will be ready.

Until Soon,

Brandon Reed
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